What’s the weirdest phone call you have ever received?

ATTENTION SPIKES UP. What could he want with me? Did I do something wrong? Lord did I forget to pay something? Questions start flying through my head. What would the detention center sheriff want with me?

I'm sorry to bother you, my staff just told me our guy corrected his information and had a number off for his home phone. Have a good day. Hangs up.

Long pause, OK. (Inaudible talking). Could you hang on for just a sec?

I’m 26 years old and a married woman. My husband hates my flat chest. What is the permanent solution?

I hear a pause on the line, it goes quiet for a few seconds.

Do you reside at 1234 X X Lane?

After a few moments he returns.

Why do we let ugly men exist?

Whew, not in trouble!! But someone named Sean with a similar number is apparently about to have a rather bad day.

Sure no problem officer.

No sir I sure don't, I live in the next city over.

What do you think about the NFA full auto band? Weapons built before 1986 can be transferred and registered? But we can't have an 87? But older weapons tend to be far more powerful. I think we should drop it. Input?

Looks at phone, sees a number local to me, so I answered.

Do what? Officer, I'm sorry I have no kids of my own, and I don't know anybody by that name.

{RING} {RING}

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HELLO

Is your number (xxx) xxx-xxxx??

Yes sir it is.

Why did my ex move on so quickly?

Hi this is Sargent Moss from the County detention center. Is this Sean?

I was trying to reach out to you because we have a Mr X here, who claims you are his legal guardian. He needs you to come down and sign some forms.